Wouldn't it be great if we could all look our best all the time, know the right thing to say in every situation and just generally be fearless in our choices? Well the reality is we all have down days. Those days where we are faced with situations that make us want to curl up in a ball and just hide from the world. It happens to everyone! Some days you wake up and for whatever reason you cant even face looking in the mirror. Its like your whole persona has turned against you and although there's no cure for self doubt and worries, there is one thing that can help minimise these insecurities.
Confidence.
Some people are born naturally confident and others, (like me) have to dig a little deeper to find it. But that's okay! Everyone's confidence levels are different and that's what makes us unique. Whether you're preparing for an interview, gearing yourself up for a presentation or trying to find the courage to wear that dress you've had sat in your wardrobe for weeks; confidence is key. Its all about finding that source of negativity and focusing on what YOU need to do to fix the way you feel. Only you can change how you see yourself; once you do you'll start to love yourself in a way that only YOU can.
Alongside that everyone's got their own 'ideal' of what they should look like. Until you realise that the target you've set yourself is unrealistic and physically out of reach you're just gonna keep slashing away at your self confidence. I was and always have been one of those people who struggle to find my self confidence or 'self worth' especially when it comes to body confidence. I remember being as young as 6 and thinking 'I'm fat' or 'why cant I look that person' etc. which obviously isn't a good mind set to have on life. You're forever putting yourself down for no reason! I mean, I physically couldn't get up to use the 'class pencil sharpener' or change over my colouring pencils because I was so scared people would judge me as i did! How ridiculous is that? I look back now at some stages of my life and think, why was I so self conscious at that age? I wasn't big at all!
Skipping forward a few years to when I was in secondary school I let my lack of confidence get to me, I hated who I was, what I looked like and spent most of my time hiding in my room. This lead to a massive weight gain and a MASSIVE drop in my confidence, my self esteem couldn't have been any lower at this point! But one day I started to train myself, I started to remind myself of the things about me and my personality that I liked, what made me, me! Sure enough I slowly began to feel better in myself. Fast forward to now and although my underlying issues are still there they are no where near as prominent as they used to be. Being able to see myself in a new and positive light gave me the motivation to not only loose nearly 4 stone, but loose a lot of the issues I once had.
Lacking in confidence can hold you back from a lot of things, making connections with new and amazing people, enjoying experiences of a life time or it can even undermine your self growth. Changing these outlooks on yourself aren't easy but they are definitely do-able.You just have to be willing to get out of your comfort zone and although it may seem scary at first you'll soon be glad you did.
Below are 5 tips and actions I did/do to train myself to achieve the confidence I have today:
1. Stop Comparing yourself to others
You are unique. There is no one else out there quite like you! What would it achieve to have 'the figure' or personality of your favourite celeb? You'd just be their clone! You have to remember that everyone has their own issues going on in their lives, but we only get to see the parts of them that they want us to see... and that is HORRIBLE. Its one of the worst things about society nowadays. We should embrace our negativity's and not feel like the world doesn't want to know us. The world wants to know ALL OF YOU, not just the 'perfect life' you want people to see. So next time you wish you could have #bodygoals like _______ remind yourself that they have their own issues just like you.
2. "Fake It Until You Make It"
Now this is one of my favourite techniques! I know it sounds cliché but it DOES work! When you 'act' confident you send positive messages to your brain which is then read and transformed into positive behaviour, meaning you slay that presentation or smash that interview. This is the thing that has helped me the most, its gotten me through SO many horrible presentations and helped me get the jobs I've wanted. If you want to wear that dress you love but think others will hate, then wear it! Don't let others dictate what makes you feel good!
3. Take the compliments, don't brush them off!
This particular step I am still working on myself, when some one compliments me I freeze. More often then not I say something negative in response, I often reply with "Oh err thanks" or "nah it looks awful". For example if I'm complimented on a makeup look I've spent ages on I often say something along the lines of "nah my eyeliners uneven" or "its not blended properly". Id never actually stop and say "thank you". But you should always embrace the compliments even if it is just with a simple thank you. Not only will this make you appear more confident but it'll make the person who complimented you feel great that they did. Everyone wins!
4. Fix Your Body Language
Body language is POWERFUL. Simply standing up straight and looking forward instead of down when you walk can change the whole persona around you. Always walk with confidence and purpose. Doing this alongside smiling at those you meet will show people you're full of confidence and not to be messed with. Its a great way to practice confidence without actually having to speak to anyone.
5. Know your Strengths and Weaknesses
No one knows you better then you, and if YOU don't know what your strengths are then who does? Becoming more comfortable in who you are will drastically improve your outlook on life. Simply writing down the things about yourself you feel comfortable/uncomfortable with can help with bringing out that natural confidence inside you. Its almost a soul-searching exercise. Once you identify the areas of yourself you want to get know better or want to embrace more you can nourish them and begin feeling more confident everyday.
To finish off today's post I just want to say that there is only one you. By knowing your self worth you can then show the world what you're really made of! So I want you to tell me right now, what makes you feel confident? Share with us your best qualities in the comments below and hopefully we can share some positivity with the world!
For me getting glammed up and wearing a killer outfit really boosts my confidence, I feel like a million bucks! (am I sounding cheesy yet? ;)) Also surrounding myself with people I care about and feel comfortable with never fails to make me feel better.
Thank you for reading, I hope this has helped someone somewhere get over that confidence hurdle!
Victoria ♡
